“Extra”

They’re all so chipper. How and why the fuck are they so chipper at this ungodly hour? Why the fuck do I do this to myself?

Jimmy stands in line with all the other cattle. It’s five-thirty in the morning at a courthouse in Yonkers. He just finished his first—of many—coffee of the day but the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet. And now he’s waiting in line with all the morning people who live for this.

Jimmy didn’t know he’d start his career as an extra when he left Hollywood. Who the hell leaves Hollywood and then goes into showbiz? Idiots, that’s who. But he had no idea what else to do when he got to New York, so it was an obvious and ironic choice. The hours sucked, the locations sucked, the pay sucked. But he figured it was still better—and easier—than working a nine-to-five desk job where he’d be subjected to the same shitty cubicle mate day in and day out. Here, he had to stand in line with the other cattle, but at least the cattle were different in every line.

“You know where crafty is?” some older guy asks. Jimmy shakes his head no. The guy scoffs and walks away.

Maybe you should be listening to the PAs, too, jackass, Jimmy thinks. It must be the early-morning scowl that draws everyone to him, to ask questions they could have answered if they would just listen to instructions. But that’s the thing with cattle: they don’t listen, they just fall in line and follow the herd, all smiles, not knowing the horrid fate that awaits them.

Jimmy is running on fumes. He knows it’ll be an even longer day than he thinks it’ll be. That’s the way it goes. Life pulls out all the punches when you least want to deal with them.

He gets dressed. He gets his makeup done (nothing). He gets his hair done (nothing). They never have to do much because he always looks perfect for every role. He was made for this shit. A star, a face made for television, to be viewed by millions around the globe. That’s why he does it, that’s why he stands in line with all the other cattle. He’s grade A prime, ready to fuel the masses. They need him for sustenance. He’s the most delicious meat they’ve ever tasted. And he hopes they choke on him, that he gives them diarrhea, that they vomit him up. He is poison. He is divine evil incarnate.

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