“This is Your Captain Speaking”
Aug 13, 2019My head’s been a mess all day. Maybe it’s nerves. Hopefully that’s all it is. So much pressure. Back to flying solo. Maybe I should take a pill or ten. Overdose on the plane. Emergency landing before we even take off.
I used to look forward to flying. Well, not really the flying, but how I dealt with the anxiety of flying. I didn’t always have the anxiety. I got it more as I got older. The brain is stupid that way. The more you’re aware of, the more you’re scared of.
So I would drink and pop pills to deal with flying. And it was nice. Seemed like the adult thing to do. Find your relief at the bottom of a glass or plastic bottle.
But now I don’t drink or pop pills. And I fly halfway across the world for the first time since being forced to reset. I wanted this. But I didn’t know what I was getting into. I didn’t know how much I’d change. Had I known, I probably wouldn’t have gone down this path.
My head feels like we’re already 30,000 feet in the sky. Like the cabin isn’t depressurized [sic]. Or it is and all the pressure is going in my head.
“This is your captain speaking. Today we’ll be cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet. Our cabin depressurizer [sic] is broken, so feel free to dump all your pressure on the passenger seated in 39G. He will also be doubling as your trash receptacle, so feel free to throw your empty cups and snotty napkins at him. No thanks are necessary.”
I wait to board. Boarding has started. I’m in the last group. My girlfriend hasn’t texted me. I probably have shitty phone service. More likely, she’s ignoring me and glad to be free of me for a week. I guess I should get up now.