“The Virus is Spreading”

I drink because I’m anxious. I’m anxious because I drink. I’m dizzy because I’m anxious. I’m anxious because I’m dizzy. I drink because I’m dizzy. I’m dizzy because I drink. The cycle never ends.

The virus is spreading. The media is catastrophizing. Politics are dividing everyone. Many people are panicking too much, many aren’t panicking enough. The scientists fight amongst themselves. “We’ve seen this before.” “No, it’s different this time.” No one knows who to trust. Humanity has become one neverending cycle of fake news. “Your news is fake because I don’t want to believe it.”

Mother Nature doesn’t care about our media or politics or fake news. All the science fiction stories have predicted our reactions to a pandemic like the one we’re living in now. Humans ignore the world around them. No preparation for a rainy day. No preparing for the future. No attention spans. Everything is short-sighted. Now, now, now. I would love to say it’s the modern human, but we’ve seen this scenario play out countless times in the past. We choose to forget the past and not learn from it. Mother Nature doesn’t forget. She is fighting the virus of humanity. We rip her to shreds and expect her to bow down. She fights back to protect her own life. And she will win.

I try not to fall in line with the hysteria. Every day, NYC becomes emptier and emptier. Only the brave walk on the streets and ride the trains. The rest hide inside, eyes glued to breaking news. Which country, which city will be next? They hide because they’re told to. Some choose to continue living normal lives. No sense in being overly paranoid. Who knows what is right? No one knows. It’s too soon. Everyone acts like an expert, but only the experts will know, and only in due time. The virus has to run its course. We will only know the percentage of deaths as more and more die.

I stay holed up in the apartment, looking down at the empty streets. My head is dizzy, filled with anxious thoughts of being broke and unemployed, being uninsured, dying of incurable diseases, more likely dying of liver failure because my dizziness and anxiety lead me to the bottle. Who do I trust? What do I do? Every day now feels like an eternity. The world will go on. I’m not ready to stop going on with it.

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